Decisions, Decisions.

Dear Reader,
Okay guys, this is a hard one for me. For you to fully understand what all I have been through and the decision I am faced with, I will start from the beginning.

When I was twelve years old, Santa brought me my very first period on Christmas Eve. When I was sixteen, Santa brought me a very painful cyst on my ovary on Christmas Day, resulting in an E.R. visit.

As a little girl, I wanted nothing more than to grow up to be a mommy. I had a great appreciation for women and their round belly pregnancies. I would stuff a pillow up my shirt and stare at myself endlessly in the mirror. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost seven years now, but when you have poly cystic ovary syndrome and endometriosis, things can be very aggravating and devastating.

About two years ago, I had been bleeding for two months straight. It was a painful experience. I went to see my gynecologist, Dr. H. On this visit, he said that I had qualified for a hysterectomy quite some time ago. Of course I was tired of this endless cycle of misery, (no pun intended) we scheduled the surgery that day. My next day at work I was telling a co-worker about my decision and she influenced me not to go through with it. We prayed together. I cancelled my surgery, and after much more praying, my cycles got better and hubby and I started trying again. No luck. Almost four months ago it started again and hasn't stopped.

This time, it has been much more painful and heavy with lots of clotting. I have an appointment with Dr. H. on August 9th and I am scared of what I will hear this time. My husband and I have talked about the fact that I may need to go through with the hysterectomy this time. We talked about everything a few nights ago and he said he was tired of seeing me in pain and that there is always adoption. While I know this, my dream of carrying a child is crushed? The very next morning, I woke up and turned the t.v. on and to my surprise Dr. Oz was on and guess what the topic was? The number one surgery not to have! I watched this show, open-mouthed. It's a sign! Yes, I know that it may still need to happen, but if Dr. H. suggests a hysterectomy again, I WILL visit another doctor for a second opinion.

Well, thats really all I have for now, I will keep y'all posted on my doctor's visit and any outcomes that will be determined. Please pray for me, I need all I can get.

With Love,

Got my nails did

Dear Reader,
So today I went to get my nails did with my brother in tow. I was in such desperate need of a fill-in, I bounced in the shop, (not my normal shop) picked out my loverly color and was on my way to pretty-nail-land again.

After my nails have been buffed and I am sent off to wash my hands of acrylic debris and cuticle oil, its time to get them polished! *squee!* As the first coat of polish is applied, I notice a hair (not mine...eek!) on my half-polished thumbnail! I make it a point to show my non-english-speaking nail tech. by making a sound of sorts, but all he does is paint over it! UGH! Whatever, I have the same color at home, I will take care of this myself. I'm just happy to have my nails did. I lead quite the exciting life, eh?

With Love,

10% Tanning tax is racism?

Dear Reader,
This post may tick some of you off, but it is something that needs to be said. By now, I'm sure most of you may have heard about the "10% Tanning Tax" that began on July 1st. I think this is one of our governments best ideas! Why is everyone getting so worked up, anyway? If you can't afford this meager ten percent, then you probably should be spending your money more wisely anyhow.

Most of you don't know that I am a melanoma survivor. I grew up around beaches, as I was a military brat, and yes, even spent a little time in tanning beds when I was younger. My diagnosis of melanoma was a very scary experience, It wasn't just some "sun spots" that could be cut off. My cancer was so deep that when I had surgery to remove it, I was left with almost a four inch scar across my shoulder blade, and it is not pretty! The melanoma had spread to my lymph nodes under my left arm, which resulted in my doctor having to remove twenty-two of them, that scar isn't so pretty either. Then, guess what? Chemotherapy. I had to experience that five days a week for six weeks in office and the remainder of the year with at-home injections three times a week. I don't want pity or sympathy, I want people to know just how far vanity and stupidity can take you.

The part that just makes me so sick is the fact that people are using this new tax law for their own advertising! Saying things such as 'Tired of paying tanning taxes? Join our gym and never be taxed for it again because we have FREE tanning!' Guess what guys? You are STILL paying taxes to tan because you can't expect us to be paying for your gym taxes too, right? By that I mean when I had cancer, I didn't expect for tax-paying citizens to pay for my chemotherapy just because I had not protected my skin all those years. Get real. Somebody has to help fund this health care bill. And that, my friends, is where the majority of the money will end up. Don't like it? Don't fake and bake. It has to be better being pale or using sunless tanners than being orange anyway. Plus, it speeds up the aging process and your wrinkles will appear before they should, but botox can fix that right up...oh yeah, thats being taxed also.

*Steps down from her soap box*

I don't want anyone to have to go through what I went through, even though, it could have been worse. If not caught in time, I could have died. Please, I ask you to wear your sunscreen.

With Love,


P.S.
Please stop calling this tax 'racism' and the 'white people tax'. That is taking it a little too far.