Only until recently have I been looked at of some adoration. I know, I'm thirty and have never seen anyone look at me that way, not even my husband. Now, the look of lust,that look I have seen, ha ha. No, I'm not cheating.There is this older man at work who is also married, but is on the verge of a divorce. I haven't egged him on in any way, and we are just work aqquaintances, however, he would like our "friendship" to be more, just not in so many words.How do I tell him to back off nicely? He isn't too forward,yet. Oh dear, this could turn out to be very bad!
I happen to be a very friendly person,and hate to say "no" to anyone for fear that I may disappoint. Take jack for instance, he is also a coworker of mine and also a neighbor, (seriously, he lives two doors down from me!). He is ALWAYS asking me for rides and such. Jack recently wrecked his car and he feels it is everyone elses responsibility to get him from point A to point B. At first, it was just a ride to the gas station, then it was "I need to got to the hospital, I think I have pnemonia". (Ten minutes before I was scheduled to be at work, *eye roll*) My husband and I drive a 14 year old car that, yes, we are still paying on, but almost through. We discussed the topic of selling it to Jack and paying off the car and using the rest of the money to put a down payment on something newer. (My bright husband told Jack he would look for a car for him to buy,and Jack is/was dependant on that. He wasn't looking for a car himself in the least bit.) So anyway, we decided it wasn't a good idea after all, and made several attempts to let Jack know that we had changed our minds. Jack would never answer his door, and when I would see him at work I could never bring myself to tell him about our newest decision.
A few days ago,Jack is quizzing me on my schedule when I see him at work, he needs a ride somewhere, no doubt. He starts in on how his insurance company has settled everything and he is ready to buy my car, a.s.a.p., like last wednesday...ha ha! So,I just blurt it out that my husband is leaving for three weeks and that car is my only means of transportaion. He starts to get all huffy and puffy about it and says, "well, I don't know if I can wait three whole weeks!" (Holla!) It's not my fault you can't drive and wrecked your car! Just when I think this conversation is over, "Can I borrow THE car at twelve on wednesday?",(mind you, I was going to be at work...) just like that, he asks. Like it's OUR car or something! I sort of told him no? I told him that I didn't think that would be a great idea, since I don't have insurance on the car. (WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!?)
Fast forward to yesterday. I'm pulling into a parking spot at my apartments, and out walks Jack. Oh geez, what now?! Stalker. I just wanna get into my home and relax. Jack walks straight to my car and says "Can you run this set of keys back up to work, I'll give you five bucks, matt,(a manager) needs them to close up tonight," I'm having a semi-conversation with my brother on the phone and he is diligently trying to hang up with me, I say, "do you just want me to meet you at your house?" My brother is a little confused, asking "who are you talking to?!" "Jack, I can't, I have plans." "Please, ten bucks?" "I can't Jack, I'm not even heading that way". Jack stares at me with disappointment (like I care) and says "ok well,bye" The truth is, I wouldn't have done it for twenty bucks, nor did I care if he watched my car all night waiting to see if I really was leaving. I said NO, and that was that, well I said "No" in NOT so many words...heh.
My point is, I cannot say no, I always find myself making up these horrible little lies to avoid the confrontation, or disappointment. However, I feel no guilt. And why should I? This fool is old enough to be my grandfather. He is a big boy and can take a cab ride, he makes more than I do! (I cash his paychecks, so I know.) Anyways, I know I'm not the only one with this so-called problem, but how do I get over saying the 'N' word without fretting and racking my brain for a quick-fix lie?